Blue Monday

God, I knew that this is supposed to be the most depressing day of the year, but I wasn't quite prepared for it to be quite so shitty.

I started my new job today - I had prepared myself to be underwhelmed, as always happens when you go from comfy, know-everyone, know-what-to-do job of two years to being the new kid at school. But it was utterly depressing. I still don't know what I'm doing, didn't really speak to anyone and spent the afternoon reading a document whilst trying not to fall asleep.

Add to this the awful weather, delays on the way to work (20 minutes late for my first day!), not sleeping much at all last night (got about 3 and a half hours between 2 and 5.30), a share price in free fall that made me wonder if I'd get to work tomorrow to find the doors locked, and - to cap it all - getting on the tube the wrong way on the way home and reaching Belsize Park before I realised (arriving home a full hour later) and it's not been the greatest day of my life to date.

But it's only one day. I know my thoughts about work are based on the usual insecurities of not knowing what I'm doing or having any mates in the office (plus the fact I don't yet have a desk or a working security pass to get into my office), and a decent night's sleep will make the whole thing seem much better. Honest. You can't see me, but I'm writing this through a slightly manic smile, which may or may not be mistaken for gritted teeth to the uninitiated.

Gotta turn my frown upside down, fight back the moistness in my eyes, pick myself up and head round to J's friend's house for a beer. Everything's better after beer. And even if it's not, it's not forever. The credit crunch will see to that.