Helen Stewart

you remember when I said Lizzi was one of my oldest and bestest pals? well that is true, but to win the "oldest (i.e longest-standing) friend" award*, you'll have to go some way to top Ms Stewart.

The year was 1989, Maggie Thatcher was being replaced by dynamic y-front wearer John Major at No.10, shell suits were all the rage and Stone Roses and the Happy Mondays were leading the new wave of Baggy, with even Altern8 managing to make it on to Top of the Pops. Ever one to be at the forefront of what's hip, I got cassettes by New Kids on the Block and Jive Bunny & the Mastermixers for Christmas.

It was also the year I started "senior school", and into my life came a blonde curly haired stunner called Helen. We only got properly friendly around the time of 5th year onwards if I remember correctly, what with me learning to speak to pretty girls without looking like Stan from South Park around then. And we've been friends ever since - be it me "hilariously" pressing the £200 button on the cash machine whilst visiting her in Edinburgh, and her saying "sod it" before taking me to the Hilton for a pint, or going to the 'Day trip to Tipp' together in 1998(?) to watch the Prodigy and erm, Kula Shaker, whilst trying to avoid the flying mustard bottles (I didn't). I remember we made a drunken pact to meet up at various points around the world when we both went travelling - of course she got off her arse and actually did it whilst I entered the cut throat world of the LloydsTSB call centre.

She's now blissfully happy in her lovely new house with her blokey Lee (who I notice hasn't yet stumped up any cash), working for some shady sounding Biotechnology outfit and generally brightening up my life whenever our paths cross. No trip home is complete without a visit up to Belfast to say hello.

I last saw her outside Malmo station, having popped my festival cherry at Roskilde and then headed to Sweden with her, Lee and the rest of the Belfast/Ballymena Academy posse. Best time I've had in ages and all thanks to her inviting me. She speaks a lot of sense too, that girl.

So anyway Helen, thanks so much for sponsoring me, you'll be glad to hear I coughed up my first chunk of lung butter on my run this evening, and have just got some industrial strength nicotine patches. Will be over in the motherland soon so you'd better keep your diary free, and get yer arse over to London soon. We can dine out at that chicken place again!

tx


*to Julie-Anne McGladdery and the rest of the Prep lot - here's yer chance!