See that tabloid ambulance chaser run

'Ello chums. How was your Easter weekend? Mine was fine n dandy thanks for asking - four days of rest and recuperation, not quite scuppered by lying awake until after 3am last night. Why does that always happen after a weekend? Most frustrating. I wasn't too wrecked today though, in part helped by a dearth of stuff to be done at work, as the recession tightens its clammy grip on my venerable institution.

Currently trying to market myself to ensure I still have a job in the coming months - not easy when I've only been in my current role for a couple of months. But worst case scenarios are not currently as bad as they could be if I worked elsewhere, so am not too concerned at this juncture. Will, of course, keep you as posted on developments as discretion and local disciplinary policy allow.

The long weekend entailed rather a lot of heavy lifting, as I assisted two different couples move flat. There's something really nice about moving in spring, with the whole new beginnings thing and the freshness in the air & sun in the sky. It had the added advantage of giving my underused upper body a bit of a workout - no doubt when I'm preening in my Speedos on a Sicilian beach in July, I will give a metaphorical sleazy wink to the memory of lugging a sodden mattress across the dump car park on Saturday. All for you baby.

In other news, you'll no doubt be relieved to hear I've managed to narrow the Sat Nav choice down to the final few competitors. Excitement is reaching fever pitch, as I weigh up the relative merits of an extra 0.8" of screen or the inclusion of European maps. I need to stop writing sentences like that, it must be so frustrating to read for those of you who don't have the opportunity of regular trips down the pub with me for equally 'gold' chat.

First Name	Sex/ Age	City	State	Overall Place	Gender Place	Age Place	Finish Time	Pace/ Mile	AG Time	AG Gender Place	AG %
GAV	M31	NEW YORK	NY	2725	2115	442	52:01	8:23	51:46	2571	51.8 %

Went out running again tonight - keeping up my impressive once a week routine. I've been spurred back into 'action' by the news that Gav from New York has come perilously close to usurping my personal best (51:12), completing a rain, haggis and cullen skink-lashed route round NYC in aid of the Scottish Tourist Board on Saturday. He's obviously been training hard, and powered his little legs around in a highly creditable 51:46 minutes (good effort my man) - reckoning that with a bit more practice he'll go sub-50. I can't possibly let him beat me to that, as the young upstart only started running about 6 months ago, so I strapped on the plimsolls again this evening and pounded the mean streets of Clapham - the sounds of Fatboy Slim willing me home, if only so I could turn the bloody shite off.

Started off well, before flagging badly towards the end of my epic 3.5k trek - not exactly 48 minute 10km form but definitely an improvement on the smoked tattie of yore, with the added bonus that I passed the 125km mark as measured by my wildly inaccurate Nikeplus gizmo. They seem awfully impressed - didn't have the heart to tell them I'd run at least that far before buying the bloody thing. Just need to find myself some sort of competition to enter now, that doesn't fall on a Sunday or Bank Holiday. Whilst I am 100% committed to my athletics career, I'm buggered if I'm spending another weekend of the booze for the sake of demonstrating my not considerable talents.