Pregnant pause

Offered my seat to a pregnant woman on the tube this morning, in a rare act of spontaneous chivalry. She looked quite surprised as I bounded from my seat, before saying "no, thanks". I sat down again, shooting sly, smug glances at my slower male neighbours, the ignorant bastards. I wondered why she'd said no, and shot a glance back at her stomach, which she spotted. Suddenly it wasn't so clear anymore whether she was up the duff or just had a reasonably prominent gut. I buried my head in my copy of ShortList and tried to look nonchalant. The seat next to me became free a few stops later and she sat down, covering her stomach with her bag and grappling with a newspaper to focus on. Worst fears confirmed, I continued to be fascinated by articles in my magazine - engrossed despite the fact I'd read it all and was now leafing backwards through it. You can never read the male grooming section too many times. Sorry love, if I made you feel like crap on the way to work. I'll ensure I never try to be polite in the future - it stands to reason that any attempt by me to so will only end in offence and embarrassment.