Balls

Joy of joys, Nikeplus has seen fit to upgrade their website in the month or so since I last checked it. For the uninitiated, Nikeplus is the chip thing that plugs into an ipod to measure running distance, calories etc and play you music / motivational American chatter as you jog round. I've always been disapppointed with the amount I could play about with the data once I uploaded it to the website, so am hoping that this has now changed. Certainly looks better anyway.

Unfortunately the same could not, apparently, be said for me yesterday. I have a pair of - well - shall we say "skimpier" running shorts that I have only worn a couple of times before. I don't normally wear any jocks when I'm running, as my shorts are all fitted with that horrible mesh thing that keeps your bits in place. Leaving my building yesterday things did feel a bit snug down below, but I thought I was being paranoid, pulled my t-shirt down a bit further and tottered off.

All was fine until I was halfway round the park when I glanced up to spot a girl walking the other way staring right at the general vicinity of my crown jewels. The look on her face was a cross between pity and horror - she made the mistake of glancing up at the exact moment I spotted what she was doing and looked mortified and sad at the same time. Suffice to say my running speed increased dramatically for the remainder of my route and I shall be ensuring I wear 3 pairs of pants next time I wear those shorts, if I don't burn them in some sort of cleansing ritual instead.

Man points -325. Self Esteem -99.