I get royally pissed off when I'm out for my morning (lunch time, afternoon) fag, as I have to stand in front of Charing Cross train station. This makes me an easy target for those charity muggers who come up and try and get me to sign up for whatever cause they are touting on that particular day. Somehow, the fact that they're "not asking for any money today" means that I am not entitled to say "no thanks" when they ask if I want to sign up, and I've been in quite a few heated discussions with them.
In particular, there's this aggressive American dude who works for one of the charities, who won't take no for an answer, even when I explain that I'm just trying to relax for five minutes in silence, I have already signed up for about 15 of the the things, my inbox is full to over-flowing with emails from them and anyway, wasn't the question "would I like to sign up"? In which case, as far as I'm concerned, the answer of "no" should be all I need to say. I don't see why I should have to justify myself to him.
All of which made it all the more amusing to leave my building this morning and walk straight into the middle of a turf war between aforementioned American dude and a small equally crusty woman in a different coloured bib, who was screaming "this is our patch" at him whilst jabbering on her mobile phone - no doubt to the shadowy figure who sends her and her posse out to stalk the streets looking for personal details of members of the public. Unfortunately things seemed to be resolved on this occasion, but I live in hope that there's going to be some full on war on the streets of London between rival charity gangs, and the gutters will soon be running green with the spilled lentil soup and tufts of dreadlock of the fallen.... I can but daydream.
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