Job Hunting

A weekend by the sea got my daydreaming about a better life going into overdrive again, and whilst I have the Great Road Trip of 2010(TM) to look forward to and plan, I started wondering about how nice it would be if I didn't do what i was doing at the moment. Maybe that means a new job, maybe a new town to live in, I'm not sure. But getting time out of London definitely clears your head, and I am now sitting at the computer trying to start looking for jobs, or at least updating my CV.

Of course, it takes more than a bit of idle thought to turn wistful pondering into actions - it takes direction, drive and ambition, as well as hard work. So far tonight I have watched Hollyoaks and a documentary about gangs (featured towns - Glasgow and Brixton - hmmmm....), smoked about four rollies, spent an hour looking for a used car on Autotrader and the last little while spying on my own house via the Superzoom photos on 192.com. It's really rather marvellous, as long as you find it exciting looking at people sunbathing in Trafalgar Square. I managed to have a look at the roof of my house and the deck chairs in our back garden, and got a bit bored quite quickly. Efforts to find any random celebrity's house proved fruitless - at least to the best of my knowledge. So here we are, almost 10pm and yet again I've failed miserably to do anything constructive, unless downloading "The Wire" is classed as such. Which in terms of life plans, I don't think it is.....

Hi Mum!

My mum is my most avid reader, and gets most upset when I fail to post a blog for a bit.... So, despite the fact I've just got home and should really get to bed, I am writing this in the knowledge that I'm going to be on the sunny south coast for the weekend and she may well be unable to sleep, turning to the tattie for something to make her doze off. Never one to disappoint (at least intentionally), here is some drivel to make you pass out of at the keyboard - with boredom, if not relaxing sleep.

After the relative excitement of the "I'm buying a bike!" fiasco of my last post, I have been assured that my new mode of transport has been ordered and will be available next Saturday. Upon strolling into Halfords last Saturday, I was faced with the unlikely truth that they don't stock 22" bike frames (as required by my elongated legs) and need to order them in specially - this despite the fact that they only have three varieties of frame size. So, despite my anticipation reaching fever pitch, I shall have to wait a little longer. Hell, it's been 15 years so far, so another week won't make too much of a difference.

Between now and then, I am off to Portsmouth tomorrow to spend the weekend with J - and the cat who shares her bed. I have a Harold Bishop-esque reaction to the scratching, ungrateful balls of hair, so am expecting to spend my weekend unable to sleep due to the burning rash all over my body and inability to breathe. Still looking forward to it though.

After that, I have "the big presentation" on Thursday, where I have to talk for 40 minutes about the goals of the company for 2008. If the reaction to my trial run today is anything to go by, they'll be rolling in the aisles. Completely unintentionally, of course.....

Bicycle! Biicycle! Biiiicycle....!

I'm buying a bike tomorrow! I'm very excited, and have spent the last few weeks avidly searching the Halfords web site and eyeing up the contraptions as they whizz past me on the street. Before any proper bicyclists start slagging me for using Halfords, I have to as they are the ones with the deal with my work - through whom I get a discounted deal. As luck would have it though, the one I want is the cheapest they have in their range, so as of tomorrow I shall be bidding farewell to public transport and hitting the open road.... literally, if I was to try cycling on the mean streets of London straight away. I think I've ridden a bike about five times since passing my cycling proficiency 19 years ago, so have a bit of practice to get in prior to trying to ride to work (the official reason behind me getting a cheap deal in the first place). That, and the small matter of it being a 15 mile round trip from my house to my new office - which i think might require a bit of See That Tattie Run-style training before attempting.

So, cue doddering round the park for weeks to come, and late night dashes 200 yards up the road to the offy. Can't wait.

what to write about?

I've had some kind of writer's block for months now, never knowing what to blog about. Either my life has ground to a shuddering boredom-filled halt, or I have stage fright after people complimented me on my previous efforts. As far as I can tell, it's not the former, unless my brain has also turned to porridge and in actual fact is trickling out of my ear - whilst I sit, staring vacantly into space in some secure unit with a stupid lop sided smile on my face as I imagine I am actually sat at home typing this - as we speak. But, not to get too Cartesian on your asses, that's not such a bad thing anyway, as to all intents and purposes my subconscious would believe it, therefore I would not know any different. I think therefore I am etc. Like wot's in the Matrix, innit?

I'm not sure what is causing my lack of entertaining banter these days but I think part of it might be down to lack of practice and/or subject matter.... I'm trying to start updating the blog more regularly again now, but the fact is if I don't have a story to tell, it's bloody difficult. I do not have what might be termed an exciting or glamorous life - especially by London standards - and there are millions of people out there all doing what I'm doing with much better stories to tell.

So, I need a hobby - as Craig pointed out last night during one of his sage, "sober for 2 weeks" pieces of mentoring - and am planning on starting to grow vegetables in our back garden. Life does not get any more rock and roll than this, let me tell you. So over the spring and summer months, strap yourselves in and get ready, for the roller coaster ride of emotions that can only be stirred by one man's struggle to raise 3 cherry tomatoes as a single parent....

see that tattie grow......

Corner shops rock

after trekking to our crap Tesco tonight, I found out that yet again they were out of vegetables and didn't have the light bulbs I was after.

So I went the whole way back past my house to the Costcutter, where there was a massive selection of greenery and bargain lightbulbs - meaning I can now see in my room again. Plus I rewarded myself for my efforts by getting a couple of cans of lager.

God, my life rocks.

Gotta love it

As someone employed in the financial services industry - in particular in Operations - I pissed myself when I read this in the paper this evening. I absolutely love the audacity of the fraudster - it almost sounds like it must be made up. As for the poor sods involved that didn't follow ID procedures.... New year, new job, eh?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2008/jan/10/scamsandfraud.creditcards
Barclays boss falls victim to ID fraud

This article was first published on guardian.co.uk on Thursday January 10 2008. It was last updated at 15:43 on January 10 2008.

A fraudster posing as the chairman of Barclays stole £10,000 from the bank after tricking a member of staff into sending him a credit card, it emerged today.

The conman duped call centre staff into issuing a credit card in the name of banking boss Marcus Agius and then used it to withdraw funds at a high street branch.

It is believed that the thief, working alone or as part of a gang, used the internet to find out details concerning Agius, such as his date of birth and address.

He then contacted a Barclaycard employee and requested that a new card be sent out.

Armed with the information and the card, the conman entered a branch of the bank and walked away with £10,000 of Agius's cash.

Barclaycard has since reimbursed the chairman and the fraud has prompted a review of procedures at the bank and the implementation of new security checks for senior executives.

Agius, who took over as Barclays chairman last January, said: "Credit card fraud is an issue which our industry continues to confront.

"Barclays is resolved to do everything possible on behalf of our customers to minimise its impact."

A spokesman for Barclaycard added: "It was down to human error, procedures were not followed fully and we have learned from it.

"This is an ongoing battle with professional fraudsters. All Barclays customers, from the chairman downwards, have a 100% fraud guarantee as long as they take responsible care of their information."

This is the second high profile case of identity fraud to emerge this week, after the TV presenter Jeremy Clarkson revealed he had also fallen victim to fraudsters.

He lost £500 after publishing his bank details in a national newspaper in an attempt to show fears about identity fraud were over the top.

In the first six months of last year criminals stole £263.6m through card crime, according to the payments association Apacs.

Charity wars

I get royally pissed off when I'm out for my morning (lunch time, afternoon) fag, as I have to stand in front of Charing Cross train station. This makes me an easy target for those charity muggers who come up and try and get me to sign up for whatever cause they are touting on that particular day. Somehow, the fact that they're "not asking for any money today" means that I am not entitled to say "no thanks" when they ask if I want to sign up, and I've been in quite a few heated discussions with them.

In particular, there's this aggressive American dude who works for one of the charities, who won't take no for an answer, even when I explain that I'm just trying to relax for five minutes in silence, I have already signed up for about 15 of the the things, my inbox is full to over-flowing with emails from them and anyway, wasn't the question "would I like to sign up"? In which case, as far as I'm concerned, the answer of "no" should be all I need to say. I don't see why I should have to justify myself to him.

All of which made it all the more amusing to leave my building this morning and walk straight into the middle of a turf war between aforementioned American dude and a small equally crusty woman in a different coloured bib, who was screaming "this is our patch" at him whilst jabbering on her mobile phone - no doubt to the shadowy figure who sends her and her posse out to stalk the streets looking for personal details of members of the public. Unfortunately things seemed to be resolved on this occasion, but I live in hope that there's going to be some full on war on the streets of London between rival charity gangs, and the gutters will soon be running green with the spilled lentil soup and tufts of dreadlock of the fallen.... I can but daydream.

Happy New year....

welllllll, I'm only a week late, aren't I? Strange to think that this time last week was New Year's Eve - seems like an eternity ago already. Had a reasonably quiet one by general standards, arriving in the pub at 9.30-ish and heading for home by half two. All flew past in a bit of a blur, but then I guess that's the sign of a pleasant evening. Unlike last year there was no drama, no friends falling out with each other, and everyone seemed to keep in reasonably good nick - at least to my rather less than sober eye.

We were down the Hootananny - Brixton's very own Scottish pub. Their marketing obviously went well - tickets were originally priced at £12, had reduced to £8 by the time we got ours a couple of days before the big night, and rumour had it that they were still being sold on the door for £4 each on New Year's Eve itself. Ah well, no matter - the band was good and we were there with a load of mates - isn't that all you need?

The new year that has dawned has opened up all manner of new possibilities and fresh starts, all of which work did its level best to dump all over within ten minutes of my arrival on the 2nd. Nothing in particular you understand - just the recognition that the life grinds on in its own unbearably dull and disorganised way within the hallowed halls...

Yes, I know it's up to me to change things, either by finding alternative employment or ensuring I do my current job better - but by god, they do their best to suck enough will to live out of you whilst there to make you just want to veg in front of the telly when you get home.

But I am determined to get things sorted this year (hmmm, sounds familiar). Not content with one momentous anniversary having passed me by in October, there is another on the horizon in April - five years in London. Quite how the bloody hell that has happened I do not know. Yes, I have been here almost as long as in Glasgow, after stepping off the tattie boat in 2003 ready to "give it six months and see how it goes...." Whereas Glasgow has so many memories, London seems to have passed by in a bit of a blur. Up to me to change it i suppose.

Starting tomorrow.