Summer evenings

In the 'hootananny' beer garden.

Whaddup

How y'all been? Whatcha been at? Sorry for my absence from the blogging world yet again. The bank holiday almost melted London - unexpected humidity and 27 degree sunshine baking everything in sight.

I did my best to shelter from the harsh rays by snuggling down inside my beer jacket in the park and a variety of pubs. Alas, it proved fruitless and I felt increasingly rough and rubbish as the weekend progressed. I did at least make it to the park for virtually the first time this year on Saturday, and up to Shoreditch on Sunday, so (whilst we're down here at the bottom of the barrel), I can at least say I achieved something.

Was up in Edinburgh on Tuesday for the princely total of 4 hours - landed at half 10 in the morning and was back at the airport for half 2. I say 'in Edinburgh' - I didn't actually see the city. I did see an office block a couple of miles from the airport. Ahhh, the glamour and sex appeal of business travel.

Can't sign off this little nugget of nothingness without saying a big congratulations to my erstwhile 'training partner' (and the reason for me starting the blog in the first place), Craig. He ran the Bupa 10K on Monday morning in a new PB of 56 mins, finishing in the top 3000. I didn't enter because I didn't want to waste my bank holiday 'not drinking'. Clever me.



He's now talking about improving below 50 minutes - faster than my best effort 2 and a half years ago. I like to think there is a Coe-Ovett rivalry developing that will propel us towards the podium in London 2012. Bring it on Craigy boy. PS - you're Coe.

At some point soon, I'm going to have my healthiest day since 1996. On that day, much as this, I'll go about my business completely nicotine-free (as it is now 2 weeks since my last patch), will go for a bit of a run, and return home to nothing stronger than a cup of tea and an early night. I could have done it tonight, but it's the UEFA cup final and in honour of the 1st anniversary of my team getting gubbed I'm having a wee beer. But soon it will come, and my journey from pisshead health-free layabout to final tuned athlete will be complete. I have the additional right to my beer tonight as it is pretty much 3 months now without a fag, equalling my record from 2000. One bonus of the whole patch thing is that it focuses the mind on how long the programme has left - to the extent that someone else had to point out how long it had been since I stopped smoking. I'm still thinking in terms of it only being 2 weeks without a patch. Oh, and this is my 700th post. Congratulations to me all round I think?

Sittin' on the sill of the window

One reason for my lack of interesting chat these days is the view from my living room window. As we're on the third floor with no other high buildings around us, we have pretty much unbroken views due west, into the sunset and the final approach to Heathrow.

The spring evenings are seeing me increasingly mesmerised, just sitting there watching the planes flying overhead as the sky turns all sorts of crazy colours. And thanks to my new camera, I can take semi-representative photos of them and allow you to share in the magnificence of mother nature in this part of Sarf lahndahn. It will also hopefully distract you for long enough that I can come up with something more entertaining for my next post. I haven't messed about with any of the editing on these pics - they're exactly as taken on 21 April and this evening. Pretty cool.

Eurosceptic

So, my annual Saturday night in alone is drawing to a close, with the news that Eurovision 2009 has been won by a Norwegian Hobbit with over-developed eyebrows. An absolute travesty, when also in the final there was representation from purple-booted Moldovan man eater Nelly. My other hot favourite to win - Holland - unbelievably, didn't even make it through qualification.

I believe we can all learn something from the Netherlands and their representatives, "Topper". Their performance is truly glorious, and Moscow was that little bit less glittering this evening without them. I want them all to be my 'special uncles'. No idea what the big unit on the decks is all about though.

Electric Radio Brixton

Congratulations to Electric Radio, who broadcast from HMP Brixton, on winning a clutch of Sony Awards the other night. It was a joy to hear the sour grapes from Radio 1 the following morning, as they tried and failed to get their heads round how they had millions of listeners yet were beaten by a station with 800.

I know the station manager, and remember almost choking on my pint when he told me he was giving up what appeared to be an easy life on the south coast to go and work for a prison radio station. As usual, I missed out on the bigger picture - he's contributing to a real, positive difference to the prospects and lives of inmates of my local nick and is winning recognition from the industry for his work, whilst I..... what is it I do again?

Robbed

Yep, once again Ireland fail to qualify for the Eurovision. Takes all the fun out of it. Their entry wasn't actually too awful this year, and they weren't alone in missing the cut - Serbia deserved to go through just for the lead singer's afro, and I want all three of the the Dutch contingent to become my "special uncles". My friend Louise turned a bit lesbian when she saw the Estonian entry, which did make it through, whilst I was terrified and excited in equal measure by the Moldovan gypsy woman - again, a qualifier for the big show on Saturday. The only problem is, with semi-finals before the main event all the kitsch and bizarre songs are ditched before the final. It's supposed to be a competition celebrating diversity and comedic awfulness, but these days it's bland Europop featuring pretty girls singing about love, before one of the Baltic states or their allies wins. I might go out and socialise on Saturday instead. But I know I won't.

Suddenly feeling very Polish

J is cringing under a blanket in preparation for song number 5 in the eurovision semi final. Polska Gola!

Have to say, the Eastern Europeans are generally legendary tonight - tongues so firmly in their cheek they're coming out the other side. Ireland took it seriously - nice idea but out of tune and a bit Avril Lavigney. Who knows how the taste of the continent will decide?

Loving the Serbian Afro though.

Euro nerves

Ireland are up next in the Eurovision semis.... Will they better Dustin the Turkey from last year and actually qualify for the final? The next few minutes will tell. Fingers being bitten.

At what point....

....in the growth of one's "beard", does the stubble become of sufficient length to dispose with soap and it is instead acceptable / more appropriate to shampoo one's face?

Behold the Tatmobile

Washed, waxed and ready for our one day road trip tomoro. 4 countries in 12 hours. See that Tattie cruise.

Ryanair baggage policy

Just checking up on the rules for cabin baggage prior to my flight back the Emerald Isle on Thursday, and noticed what appeared to be joke questions in the "FAQ" section:

Can I bring a self inflating lifejacket?
Can I bring an avalanche rescue pack?
Can I bring a Parachute?

Like so many Ryanair-related policies, what appears on first glance to be a piss-take turns out to be absolutely, solemnly true.

If you didn't laugh....

You'd sneeze... Probably....

Prior to the discovery of Swine Flu at a school a mere 5 minutes from my old house, the good old British stiff upper lip was in full effect last week....

From: Ally
Sent: 29 April 2009 11:31
Subject: I've just had to call the Swine Flu emergency help line ....

.... but unfortunately all I got was crackling.

From: Tony
Sent: 29 April 2009 11:39

Don't worry, you'll be bacon your feet in no time.

Craig
29/04/2009 11:42

Yeah I have only been feeling a bit sow sow myself.

Euan
29/04/2009 12:01

So it appears swine flu has replaced the fears about bird flu.

I guess bird flu just never took off...

From: Ally
Sent: 29 April 2009 12:29

Good work.

Come on Murray.

From: Craig
Sent: 29 April 2009 13:08

Yeah murray don’t be so boaring.

Tony
29/04/2009 13:07

He'll probably just make a pig's ear of it if he tries.

From: Ally
Sent: 29 April 2009 13:25

To be honest, I am happy for you two to hog all the laughs.

From: Tony
Sent: 29 April 2009 13:35

I'm not - come on Murray! Chop chop!

Craig
29/04/2009 13:37

I don’t think we should be expecting a brisket response from Murray

From: Ally
Sent: 29 April 2009 13:42

We are being a bit unfair. Perhaps we should leave Murray a loin?

From: Tony
Sent: 29 April 2009 16:25

We could give him a special Medallion if he comes up with something?

From: Craig
Sent: 29/04/2009 16:27 CET

What for putting up with all the ribbing?

From: Ally
Sent: 29 April 2009 16:44

I have confidence in your wit Murray. In fact the Comedy Store has just advertised the role of resident comedian in there Soho venue. I'm pretty sure you could fillet.

From: Tony
Sent: 29/04/2009 16:46 CET

ouch. painful. got there in the end though - well played Ally. You're sau-sage and wise.

From: Ally
Sent: 29 April 2009 16:48

I agree. The preamble was offal.

From: Craig
Sent: 29 April 2009 16:55

With the exception of Murray, I have to say this has been a fantastic joint effort.

From: Murray
Sent: 29 April 2009 16:57

Apologies you had to Shoulder all the responsibility

Craig

30/04/2009 11:43

From: Ally
Sent: 30 April 2009 11:45

You deserve a rind of applause for that one Craig.

10 weeks is up!

And I'm still fag-free!! Ordinarily I would now be patch free as well, but I managed to accidentally have a few patchless days since the 23rd of February (not that I'm counting or anything) so my first day fending for myself will be this Friday. Ordinarily, the worst possible day of the week to stumble into a life as a non-nicotine absorber, but handily I'll me at me maw's, which should hopefully help. Go me!

Happy bank holiday

aaah, you can't beat the May Bank holiday. An extra day on your weekend, the days are long and the weather suddenly finds an extra 5 degrees.

Been having a very pleasant one so far, and the sun is currently trying its best to burn through the haze to allow me to hit the park this afternoon. Added to that, I have a mere 2 days at work this week as we're heading back up to the motherland on Thursday for maternal birthday celebrations - and the not insignifcant matter of the collection, at long last, of the majestic, mighty Clio and our one day road trip back. 4 countries in 12 hours sounds impressive til I mention it covers both Irelands, Wales and England. I'm prepared as I can be - my Haynes car repair manual arrived on Saturday (must really take it out of the cellophane wrapper to make it look like I've used it) and finally answered the nation's prayers by making a decision and buying a sat nav. Yep, I am gadgeted up and ready for anything. Hear me roar.